You are here: Home / Archives for weight loss journal

I Have a Sugar Hangover

December 15, 2009 By Leave a Comment

If a person can have a sugar hangover then I have one. I ate so many frosted sugar cookies yesterday (the ones I make are the most super delicious ones in the world!) that I physically got sick and still have a queasy feeling stomach today.

Those damn little cookies do me in every year yet do I stop making them? Of course not because I think that everyone in my family will be upset if I don’t make them (read that to say “Me, myself, and I will be upset if I don’t make them,” plus it’s tradition and wouldn’t I be a Scrooge if I messed with tradition?). But, do I cut back and just make a single batch? Nope, don’t do that either.

If I’m going to go to bother of making the dough, rolling it out, cutting out those cute little snowmen and bells and stars and trees, baking them, making frosting to frost them, frosting them, decorating them with colored sugar (and non-pareils and jimmies and cinnamon candies and silver dragees – yum!), letting them dry overnight and then packing them into cute little containers for friends and families plus a big container to keep at home for people who drop in to wish up happy holidays (again, you can read that to say “keep a container at home for me, myself, and I”), then I am going to make a double or triple batch because it’s a “friggin” lot of work!

Last year at a Weight Watchers meeting someone suggested freezing Christmas cookies so they wouldn’t be so readily available to eat and so that a person would have to actually think about how badly they wanted one and would then have to take one out of the freezer and wait for it to thaw. That sounded like a great idea to me because short of throwing out all the cookies I worked so hard to make (or feeding them to the dog and making her sick which wouldn’t make me a very good mommy to my cute and spoiled doggie) I had a to find a way to keep myself from snacking on a half dozen of them every night.

Guess what I discovered?

Frozen frosted sugar cookies are the most delicious thing in the world!

Maybe I do need to throw them out……….

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Navigating the Food Court At The Mall

December 6, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Yesterday I was on a power shopping trip with a friend. Yes, we braved the mall on the weekend and were among thousands of other idiots who thought a Saturday in December was a good day to find the perfect presents for everyone on our lists.

Twelve hours and several hundred dollars later we both had most of our presents purchased and I even found a way to not wreck my weight loss plans while eating at the food court in the mall (SUCCESS!).

Usually I will pre-plan what I am going to eat before going anywhere but the crazy busy holiday season sometimes makes it hard for me to fit that in. Instead I used all the tips I have learned over the last year since I joined Weight Watchers and ate fairly healthy at the food court without going hungry and without eating too many calories.

I started the morning with a pear (grabbed on the way out of door) and a non-fat latte with an extra shot of expresso (needed that extra boost to power my way though the crowds!).

My lunch choice was Panda Express. Instead of having deep fried and breaded orange chicken swimming in sauce over fried rice I opted for black pepper chicken with steamed rice.

Calorie and fat comparison:
Orange chicken with fried rice: 970 calories, 38 grams of fat
Black pepper chicken with steamed rice: 620 calories, 11 grams of fat (click here to view all the Panda Express Nutritional Info)
Conclusion: did okay, not as great as I thought but still ate 350 calories and 27 grams of fat less than normal and that is comparing the single entrees. I used to always have the 2 entree meal with 2 servings of the orange chicken and the fried rice so I really ate 750 calories and 47 grams of fat than normal.
What I will do different next time. Probably nothing. I really enjoyed it and had a very active day logging almost 11 miles on my pedometer, which helped me burn it off.

My dinner choice was TGI Fridays where I had half a Jack Daniels burger without the cheese, half an order of fries (my friend and I shared the meal), and a house salad with dressing on the side, which I used a quarter of.

Calorie Comparison:
I couldn’t find any nutritional information for TGI Fridays (hate when restaurants don’t supply it) but normally I would have had ordered an appetizer that was deep fried instead of the salad and would have eaten the entire burger and fries by myself.
Conclusion: I think I did pretty well. Yes, I had unhealthy fries but I don’t have them every day and I limited myself to half an order. Plus I resisted the calorie and fat laden green bean fries and had healthy salad instead.

The scale was still my friend this morning so I feel okay about my food choices yesterday. I will focus on very healthy eating today though because I probably ate about a week’s worth of sodium yesterday since restaurant food is almost always heavily laden with it.

Even though I ate more calories yesterday than I do in a normal day I do always allow myself one day a week to eat a little more so yesterday was it.

I’m just really proud of myself for not going overboard and for being able to resist having a Cinnabon, a pretzel from the Pretzelmaker (the really good dipped in butter ones) and a chocolate chip cookie sandwich from the American Cookie Company (the ones with loads of frosting in the middle). Yes, I normally would have indulged in all of those on a long shopping trip along with my regular meals (used to be a fan of treating myself way too much which is evident by looking at the loads of extra pudge on my body).

These are the tips I used to navigate the food court without blowing my diet:
- Did not skip breakfast even though I was eating out for the rest of the day
- Opted for grilled versus fried
- Light on the sauce
- Salad with light dressing on the side to help fill me up without eating too many calories
- Made sure to eat enough at my meal so I wouldn’t be so hungry later on that I could not resist the smells of the cinnamon rolls, the pretzels, and cookies.
- Drank lots of water that I brought with me (could have purchased it throughout the day as well and if you tuck the bottle of water in your purse you don’t need to worry about what to do with it in stores that have signs forbidding food and drink in them).
- Had a small single serving bag of almonds in my purse just in case I got really hungry so that I could have had those instead of aforementioned cookie, pretzel, or cinnamon bun.
- Chose water to drink instead of sugary drinks
- Chose the smallest size meals and said “no” to the so called money saving larger sizes and combo meals

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss, Weight Loss Tips Tagged With: , , , ,

Why Do Women Feel Guilty When They Treat Themselves To A Piece of Cake?

December 4, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Why do us women feel so guilty when we allow ourselves a small treat?  (Okay, maybe all of you don’t but I sure do). 

Case in point: last night my husband and I attended my work Christmas party.  Dessert was delicious looking chocolate cake.  After the plate was passed around our table and I had declined it even though I really wanted it, the person holding the plate asked who had not taken their piece (he was a guy of course).  I told him I had not and that I really did not need the cake, which was true.  I did not need the cake but I really wanted it. 

He said encouraged me to take it and said “everyone should be able to have a piece of cake.”  I let myself get talked into it because:

A – I really really wanted that cake!

B – He was my boss and my mind is predisposed to do what he tells me to

C – I had enough room in my “calorie budget” to eat the cake

D – I really really wanted the the cake!

I ate half of it.  It was delicious and I really enjoyed it but after pushing away the rest of it because I was full and was satisfied with the amount I had I immediately started to feel guilty and started wondering if I could get myself to be sick so that I could get rid of the cake that was now making me horrible and shameful and like I will never be able to lose my extra weight and be able to shop in the normal size section of the clothing store. 

My inner thoughts slipped out as a huge sigh.  The lady sitting across from me heard it and said “Yeah, I wish I wouldn’t have eaten the cake either.  It was like she knew exactly what I thinking!  The other ladies at the table nodded in agreement.  I realized we all were feeling guilty for indulging in cake. 

But were any of the guys?  No!  They were talking about how good it was. 

I later asked my husband when we got home if he felt guilty for eating the cake because he is trying to lose weight too (and btw he ate the whole piece and it was the biggest piece on the plate!).  He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Of course not!  Why would I feel guilty for eating cake.  It was delicious.” 

He did the right thing.  He enjoyed his treat and moved on.  I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was so riddled with guilt. 

And, freakily, I woke up at 2:13 am feeling sick to my stomach and did throw up.  Did my sub-conscious mind make me do that?

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With: , , ,

How Was Your Thanksgiving Weekend?

December 1, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Last week I wrote about how I survive Thanksgiving dinner (and the rest of the day) without gaining weight.  I wrote that little ditty thinking that if I wrote it I would remember to do everything I did last year to get through Thanksgiving Day (and the rest of the weekend) and not gain weight. 

Sometimes I’m not so great at using my own advice and seem to be really good at sabatoging myself.   The food I cooked was healthy.  I just ate too much of it on Thursday; went to another Thanksgiving party on Friday where I didn’t eat so healthy; had yet another party on Saturday where I really went whole hog on eating everything in sight; and then decided to keep overeating on Sunday because I had ruined the weekend anyway.  

I didn’t feel so great when I woke up really early (anytime before the sun rises is too early for me) Monday morning.  I wasn’t surprised since I think I ate my yearly quota of sugar over the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend.  In addition to huge meals I found myself unable to resist the junk food that I kidded myself into thinking I had purchased for my kids while they were home and consumed nearly an entire bag of Funyons and Cool Ranch Doritos by myself (my kids did manage to wrestle the bags away from me long enough to get a few for themselves).  I also ate a whole box of chocolate cookies and a box of Cheetos Asteroiods cheese balls but I ate those in secret so I wouldn’t have to share (sad but true).     

Lying in bed in the dark yesterday morning feeling like pooh warmed over wasn’t any fun.  Then I decided I had enough of being back in my old habits of not eating healthy and exercising regularly so at 6:30 am me and my dog were out walking (pretty darn quiet on the sidewalks that time of morning because most people were smart and were inside where it was warm and where there was probably some delicious hot coffee).  

It took every ounce of my resolve to actually get dressed warmly and walk.  The walk wasn’t too bad.  The dog only pulled the leash out of my hands once to chase a squirrel and she chose to not poop (yeah, no poop picker upper duty – it makes me gag) although she did decide to pee seven times (yes, I counted) and of course it had to be right in someone’s front yard each time in plain view of their picture window so she had an audience several times watching her (and obviously watching me to make sure I did do the doggy doo-doo pickup in case she decided to produce some).

After the walk I took my butt to Curves and worked out and then finally to Starbucks for a desperately needed jolt of caffeine (sometimes I wish I could just inject shots of espresso directly into my veins). 

Then, because I was on a roll I decided that I was going to have a green salad for lunch (and was going to have one every day).  Yesterday’s salad was: baby spinach (the entire 5 ounce container), sliced mushrooms, sliced sweet onion, sliced water chestnuts, 2 slices of crumbled center cut bacon, a small handful of slivered almonds, 1 tablespoon parmesan cheese and a couple tablespoons of hot bacon dressing made with half the sugar.  Super delicious! 

And, the best part of yesterday was that it wasn’t a “one day wonder” of eating right and exercising.  I managed to get my sizable rear end out of bed to take the dog out for a walk again this morning (not quite as early though - the sun was actually coming up); went to Curves again this morning; and am currently blissfully enjoying a nonfat latte (extra shot of espresso) at Starbucks. 

Today’s lunch salad is going to be: spinach, sliced sweet onion, dried cranberries, 1 or 2 slices of crumbled center cut bacon,  a few slivered almonds and a homemade poppy seed dressing that I’ll make with half the recommended amount of sugar.   

I’m getting hungry.  Time for me to get to the store and see if I can snag a container of organic spinach.

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With: , , , , ,

How Do You Deal With A Weight Gain?

November 23, 2009 By 2 Comments

The one thing I’ve found the most difficult with trying to lose weight is dealing with a bad week (or month or six months) where I’ve gained weight.  I feel like I’m horribly crappy at dealing with any sort of adversity because when a little weight creeps back on do I get even tougher with my exercise and eating plan to zap the weight right back off? 

Yeah, only in my dreams where I’m also 5’10″ tall, have an amazing figure that allows to fit into single digit clothing sizes, am 27 years old, have a wildly successful career, a super cute and buff boyfriend, and have a raging metabolism that allows me to eat whatever I want without gaining an ounce.

The reality for me?  When I gain weight I get so upset that I eat to console myself.  Then I gain more weight and eat more food.  See the viscious cycle I’ve got myself on?

Those inevitable weight gains are harder for me than the food pushers in my life, the delicious treats calling out my name from the bakery case while standing in line at Starbucks for my nonfat latte, my cravings for chocolate and all things salty at the special time of month human beings of the female gender have to deal with for several decades of their life, and my daughter bringing me a favorite treat on a day I’ve already consumed all my allotted Weight Watcher points. 

The brain in my head knows that I should look at the overall downward trend on the scale and embrace the weight loss victories (no matter how small).   

Even though it’s completely obvious to me that eating more food when I gain weight is not a good solution, it’s what I’m doing.  Even though I’m completely aware of how hard it was to lose the 50 pounds I’ve gotten rid of, I’m still stuffing my face these days and slowly gaining weight back. 

I’m in the the mode of “it’s too hard and I’ll never be able to lose the weight anyway so why keep trying?”   (Yeah, can you tell I’ve got a major case of self negativity going on?)

I’m hoping for some feedback (in the handy comments section) on how you deal with a weight gain? 

Do you fall off the deep end back into overeating like I do ( and I hope you don’t because it’s so horribly self-defeating) or do you have a more positive way of dealing with it and getting yourself back in the “losing weight” or “maintaining weight” mode.

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With:

It’s Amazing How Getting Some Exercise In Can Make My Whole Day Better

November 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I’m amazed at how great I feel this evening even though I didn’t have a stellar day when it came to food choices, although I also didn’t have a pig-out fest either.  I think it’s all because I got my butt moving today and got in some much needed exercise.

I worked out at Curves this morning (after oversleeping); got some work in; and then went for a walk before dinner with my husband and our always way too energetic dog.  The only poopy part of the walk (and when I say “poopy” I literally mean it) was that I got doggy poop on one of my gloves today because it was my turn to be the “picker upper.”  It was so gross! I thought I was being super careful about turning the plastic bag inside out as I picked it up but apparently I’m not as skilled at it as I thought (and if my husband is reading this – “No, I do not need more practice!”)

I’m feeling so good about my day that I think the scale should say I’m at least 5 pounds lighter tomorrow.  That’s realistic, right?

Yeah I know – it’s also going to rain money tomorrow too and puppy dogs are going to fly.

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal Tagged With: , ,

Being Motivated Is A Great Thing But It Takes A Lot Of Exercise To Burn Off A Pound

November 13, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I work out at Curves and today our facility is trying to set a Guiness World Record for the most calories burned at the facility in one day by its members.  That meant the manager was having an “unoffiicial workout with the manager” day – and workouts with her mean she’ll push a person to do their absolute best even when they think they have nothing left in them to do “one more.”  

For some reason, having someone breathing down my neck and encouraging me to work my arse off works really well.  I burned the most calories, by far, than I ever have since I joined in January.  I was so excited.  I burned 412 calories!   Now I feel really good about having done the best I could to help get that world record (and if we get it, it will be the first and last time I’ll have ever helped set a world record for anything).   

But since I’m such a “glass half empty” person (hate that about myself), I’m also thinking how that’s only a little more than a tenth of a pound that I burned off.  How depressing is that? (see – I can go from super excited to super depressed in 3 seconds flat).  I just hope I get a lot of residual higher metabolism from this workout to help me burn more calories off today.

Now if I could just figure out how to motivate myself that well every time I exercise.

Okay, that’s all I can write for now.   I need to go find a corner to collapse in for a little while (need some privacy so I can be whiny about how sore my arms are from those evil hyraulic workout machines).

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With: , , , ,

Good News and Bad News in My Battle of the Bulge

November 11, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Since my meltdown yesterday I’ve gotten a little better.  I guess that whole “writing stuff down” does help because I felt like reaching out for help after writing it which was a huge improvement over the “it’s too hard and I give up” attitude I had before I wrote it.

I called my oldest son because he’s almost always has good advice even if he doesn’t always understand why I have the food issues I do; especially when it comes to dealing with stress.  His way of dealing with stress is to not eat at all.  I only wish.  My solution is the complete opposite because stress makes me want to eat every high calorie/high fat food in sight – to the point of literally wanting to throw up (Yes, I’m a mess and horrible with dealing with my emotions).

So after talking we decided that instead of me constantly thinking, “I have to exercise, I have to eat healthy, I have to keep dieting, have to, have to, have to;” instead the new phrase I’m going to use is “I decide if I want to.”

That means instead of feeling all this pressure of “I have to,” I hopefully will feel that I’m back in control of things and that I get to decide what I will and won’t do.  Obviously I’m hoping that I’ll want to make good choices for myself when it comes to food and exercise.  I guess we’ll see.

Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed in every aspect of my life.  I felt like I wasn’t getting enough work done, enough cleaning done at home, enough of my errands done, eating healthy enough, getting enough sleep, relaxing enough or exercising enough.  Bottom line: I felt inadequate and inept in every part of my life.

But while I’d like to say that letting go of the “I have to” has magically changed things (it hasn’t), it has helped me calm down so that instead of feeling like I’ll never be able to get it all done (and therefore accomplishing nothing), that starting with accomplishing one thing will help.

So today I got up and exercised.  I didn’t do it because I felt I had to.  I did it because I wanted to.

I also weighed myself and the good news there is that I stopped the “free for all weight gain” I’ve been experiencing.  The bad news is that I haven’t started to lose any of the excess weight.  But, I’m trying to remember, “one thing at a time.”

This evening I’m taking a break from the stress and am enjoying an evening with a friend for a healthy meal and a little shopping.  My hubby is on his own for dinner.

I know it’s baby steps.  But if I don’t find a way to keep taking those baby steps back to feeling calm and in control I won’t be able to get back on track with weight loss because I know myself and I know that “myself” will use food to calm my emotions, and not just any food but food like chocolate, cookies, cake, ice cream, chips, pizza, and entire loaves of bread.

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Does Writing a Blog Help With Weight Loss?

November 10, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Several months ago I had the brilliant idea to start this blog in the hope that writing about my weight loss journey would help me be successful. And, I also thought that maybe reading about my “trials, tribulations, frustrations, and successes” might help other people. And, in my noble thinking I thought, “If reading my story helps just one other person it will be worth it.”

It sounded great in my mind but has been a lot less great in theory. Finding the time to post to this blog isn’t the issue I’m facing even though it may seem that way since I’m not posting every day like I think I should be.

My problem is that I’ve been either stuck with my weight loss efforts since May or have been sliding backwards into the horrible world of “gaining weight back” and it doesn’t feel inspiring or helpful to write about how horribly I’ve been doing for the past 6 months. The truth is it’s hugely depressing.

I’ve read over and over again that writing about something can be cathartic and can help a person be more successful in what they are doing. It makes sense. When I’m always writing down what I eat I lose weight. When I write down what I’m spending I stay within my budget. So wouldn’t you think that writing about my weight loss journey would help me be completely successful? So far the answer to that is a BIG FAT NO! (figuratively and literally).

I’m sure writing about weight loss helps some people because I’ve read the journals of others who have been successful. I’m just wondering if I’m one of them.

So here I am at a crossroads. I’ve gained 7 pounds in the past 2 weeks and can feel it in how my pants fit, and strangely I can feel it in my neck (my double chin has gotten bigger). It was also painfully obvious to me this morning when I bent over to tie my shoes and felt how my now bigger stomach was in the way. I so don’t want to go back to where I was (over 50 pounds heavier, pre-diabetic, wearing clothes 4 sizes larger, unable to climb a flight of steps without getting out of breath, and having absolutely zero self esteem).

But, at the same time I feel powerless to stop this backward slide. I skipped my Weight Watchers meeting this morning and it wasn’t because I couldn’t face what the scale was going to tell me. I’ve had weight gains before and got through the pain of them and back on the losing track. I couldn’t face the other members who are being successful right now and knew I couldn’t feel happy for them as they announced how well they are going with their weight loss. Saying that makes me feel like a horrible person but it’s the truth. I just don’t want to hear how someone else lost 6 pounds this past week.

So instead I’m sitting here at Starbucks drinking a latte (didn’t completely go off the deep end – it’s a nonfat latte sans the whipped cream) and feeling sorry for myself.

I know that whether or not I win this friggin battle of the bulge is completely within me and that the only way I’ll succeed is if I find the strength to do.

Today I’m not feeling very strong though. Today I just feel like giving up with both my weight loss efforts and with continuing this blog because it doesn’t seem like it’s helping me so how could it help anyone else?

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss, Weight Watchers Tagged With:

We Played “Pass the Pumpkin” At My Weight Watchers Meeting This Week

October 28, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I love my Weight Watchers leader. She makes meetings a ton of fun.

This week we played what she called “Pass the Pumpkin.” It wasn’t just any old pumpkin. It was one that weighed exactly 5 pounds and she knew this because she took her Weight Watchers scale to the farmers market and weighed pumpkins until she found one that was “just right” (actually she said her husband had to do it because she has an injured back right now – wish I could have seen that!).

The pumpkin got passed around to everyone at the meeting. While each person held it, they told the entire group how many “pumpkins” (5 pound increments) of weight they had lost (you could practically see people doing the calculation in their head as they were dividing their weight loss by 5!).

It was fun to congratulate everyone on the weight they’ve worked so hard to lose. For me it was a great reinforcement of how much good work I’ve done at weight loss since I tend to look at how far I still have to go rather than how far I’ve come (yes, I’m more of a “glass half empty” rather than “glass half full” kind of person).

It was so cool to be able to say that I’ve lost almost 11 pumpkins (54 pounds)! That’s a lot of pumpkin pie!

Filed Under: My Weight Loss Journal, Weight Loss, Weight Watchers Tagged With: ,
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »