Sometimes I’m discouraged and frustrated by my lack of weight loss progress 12 times a day!

When those lows hit I do my best to remember great advice I received from my former Weight Watchers leader. She always told me, “Look for the reason why you’re discouraged so you can deal with it and change it.”

I’ve been discouraged for the past 8 months by my lack of progress so I guess it’s time for me to be brave enough to think about why I’m not doing what I need to do to continue to lose weight.

I know I can’t stop fighting the fight or I’ll be right back where I was 3 years ago when I weighed 286 pounds and was unable to walk up a flight of steps without huffing and puffing like an exhausted elephant.

So here’s to actually making use of that great advice to, “look for the reason why I’m discouraged so I can deal with it and change it.”

Note to self: next time I decide to ride my bicycle in March when its barely 40 degrees WEAR GLOVES! I nearly froze my fingers off. Granted I had my bike gloves on, but fingerless gloves don’t do a lot when its cold, overcast and damp (yes, I’m whining).

My nose and cheeks got pretty cold too, but it felt so good to be out in the fresh air and in weather that is mild compared to the last several months of nearly constant snow and temps that only occasionally got above freezing.

I might have pushed the urge to ride a little bit since only 5 miles of the paved trail I was on was clear. The rest of it was too snow covered and slushy for my bike tires to handle.

Not that I could have ridden a whole lot further than 5 miles today. My legs could have handled it but my butt definitely has to “toughen up” again and get used to sitting on a bike seat.

Maybe I should have doubled up and wore both pairs of my padded bike shorts….even though people would have probably stared at my extra huge marshmallow butt when I walked into the coffee shop for my yummy pre-ride mocha latte (skim milk, no whipped cream and 4 shots of caffeine laden espresso please).

Next planned bike ride is in 2 days. Temps are supposed be near 50 which would be awesome, but fog and rain may put the “kibbosh” on it.

I am determined to get out and ride at least 2 times a week this month though, because my goal this year is to graduate to a faster (and cuter) bike and to go on at least one “50 miles all in the same day” bike ride.

And not that this has anything to do with bike riding or weight loss, but to the guy who was walking on the side of the road this morning while I was driving to the coffee shop for that aforementioned pre-ride coffee: “It’s really not super smart to walk on the side of a busy country road wearing dark clothes, talking on a cell phone and constantly looking down at your feet when it us FOGGY unless you want to hit by a car!”

Do you have any bicycle riding plans this year?

Yesterday I got sick from something I ate (won’t gross you out with the details but it wasn’t pretty) and even though my stomach was in no shape to take in any food I wanted to eat anyway.

I sat in my living room last night wanting to go get food because I was upset over some stuff going on in my life but yet I knew if I ate even one bite it wasn’t going to stay down.

I had a big inner fight with myself to not put food in my mouth. I did my best to keep my hands busy by knitting but I walked into the kitchen 5 times to look at possible food choices although common sense eventually prevailed each time and I left without stuffing anything in my face.

This morning I’m still not feeling great and the 2 strawberries I ate are sitting in my stomach like a lump of clay so it’s definitely not time to try and eat anything else even though they’re the best strawberries I’ve had since last summer!

To keep myself busy I planted some flower and vegetable seeds in my indoor greenhouse, read a few pages in my latest book from the library (The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes), did some laundry, watched some television (a cooking show – not a smart idea when I’m trying to not think about food until my stomach settles down!), and am now writing this blog post (yet another activity that is reminding me of food – will I ever learn?). Been also thinking about going for a walk but haven’t gotten up the ambition to do it yet.

I could really use some suggestions on what to do when stress is high. Last night and this morning have made me realize that the only way I know how to deal with stress is by eating and I can’t continue to do that if I ever hope to get this excess weight off.

Suggestions?

1) I Don’t Have Time

2) I’m Tired

3) I Don’t Feel Good

4) It’s Too Early

4) It’s Too Late

5) It’s Too Hot Outside

6) It’s Too Cold Outside

7) I Have a Headache

I Don’t Feel Like It

9) I’m Too Fat and Out of Shape To Go To The Gym

10) I HATE Exercising

I’ve used all those reasons many many many times – sometimes in combination (example: “I’m too tired to go for a walk and it’s too cold out anyway”).

But…..

I WILL NEVER USE THOSE EXCUSES AGAIN!!!

Why?

Last week at my weight management class we had someone who achieved her weight loss goals.  She didn’t give up and she didn’t quit even though while trying to lose weight she dealt fractured a bone in her hip (kept on eating healthy and did chair exercises every day while her hip was healing); and then found out she had the big “C” – Cancer and is now taking experimental drugs to try and stop those damn cancer cells from destroying her body.

Either of those two things would have caused me to have a major pity party that featured lots of chocolate, pizza and chips.  And I know I would have been too busy feeling sorry for myself to exercise.

But listening to her say how giving up has never an option for her, no matter what, made me realize how lucky am I to be as healthy as I am and that I’ve been nothing but a whiny baby.

I vowed then and there to stop using stupid excuses to not exercise and take care of myself.

Even though that happened less than a week ago, I’ve been “tested” in my resolve.  I found out my Dad likely has the big “C” too although we won’t know for sure until he has more tests this week.  The day I found out I wanted to sit on a park bench and cry rather than take my planned 2 mile walk around the park, but I remembered my vow and did the walk (but only after a lot of fighting with myself because a big part of me really didn’t want to do it).  I also almost tossed my healthy lunch in the back of my vehicle in favor of a bacon burger with fries with a turtle sundae on the side because I wanted comfort and something to take away the emotional pain I was feeling, even if it only lasted a couple minutes.  And a big fat juicy burger with greasy fries and a giant sundae are my idea of comfort food.  But I didn’t.  I managed to let myself feel the pain, which is a new experience for me because I’ve always used food as a way to deal with unpleasant things in my life.

The result of not giving in to a food pig out?  I’m still on track with my weight loss and exercise program.  It’s a hard fight with myself to not give into the comfort food, a fight I”m having with myself about 50 times a day but I think I’m finally really realizing that overeating doesn’t solve anything and won’t fix all the “bad” things that happen.

The exercise?  I’m finally seeing how it helps relieve stress.  A vigorous walk or workout relieves some of that pain and built up tension.  I never really believed it was possible but it’s actually kind of amazing how much it helps.

How about you?  Are you ready to vow to not give up with your exercise and/or weight loss program – no matter what?

I look at them and think “yeah -right.” My “ideal” weight on the chart below is between 127-141 pounds (The data originated from Met Life’s Ideal weight charts first established in 1943 and revised in 1983).

I haven’t weighed 127 pounds since I was a junior in high school where I regularly skipped breakfast and lunch (and only picked at my dinner) so that my size 5 hip hugger jeans would fit.  I was lightheaded and dizzy every afternoon.  No thanks to doing that ever again.

Today my realistic “get real” weight is 160 pounds.

How did I come up with that number?  Nope, didn’t just pull it out of my butt and decide it was a nice number.

After the birth of my second child, 160 pounds is the weight I maintained for a little over a year (until I got pregnant again).  I felt healthy and energetic at that weight, and even though I couldn’t get into single digit jeans, I still fit into normal clothes.  And, maybe most importantly, I didn’t look into the mirror at that time and hate what I saw.

So that’s why 160 pounds, which isn’t even close to what some stupid chart says I should weigh, is the weight I think I should weigh and is even the weight my doctor agreed would be okay for me because it’s sure a lot better than the high of 286 that I was at 3 years ago (and am NEVER EVER GOING BACK TO).

What’s your “get real” weight?

At what weight will you feel healthy and feel good about yourself?

Height & Weight Table For Women

Height & Weight Table For Men

I ate eggs fried in butter with a side of all the bacon I could eat (sometimes a whole pound!) for breakfast, shoveled bun-less burgers (lettuce instead of a bun please but don’t forget the cheese, mayo and bacon) into my mouth at lunch, cooked huge hunks of beef, pork or chicken for my dinner with a side of broccoli or salad, and in between snacked on lots of cheese. Bread, pasta, grains of any kind and fruit were shunned.

The weight practically fell off me. I was in hog heaven. Who knew a person could lose lots of weight while eating all the bacon they wanted and without every being hungry? My piggish happiness lasted until I couldn’t stand not having any bread or fruit. One bite of it and the weight stated to pile back on almost as fast as I lost it.

The sensible part of me knew that eating a diet consisting mainly of saturated fat wasn’t healthy and eventually my body made its unhappiness known because it got to the point where I was always tired and sluggish and could barely get through my normal day, much less a vigorous workout.

That was 2004. Since then I’ve tried the South Beach diet (another low carb diet), the Zone diet (yet another low carb diet), the Sugar Busters diet (giving sugar up completely makes me really crabby – just ask my husband) and for the last 2 years, Weight Watchers.

The only diet where I’ve had success, meaning I not only lost weight but have kept it off, is Weight Watchers; but I’ve been backsliding with Weight Watchers recently and have gained back 15 of the 57 pounds I’ve lost. I’m so sick of counting “points” for every bite of food I eat and have stubbornly refused to do it for the past several months hence the extra poundage that’s slowly finding its way back to me.

So it’s back to “square one” for me, looking for an eating plan that will help me lose weight but this time I want one that I don’t have to convert every food I eat into a “points” value. A lower carb diet still appeals to me because I know they work, but I’m not going to going on an unhealthy low carb diet again and to me Atkins is definitely not a healthy way to go.

A few days ago I decided to try a lower carb eating plan along with 17 other people at the Curves facility I work out at. The meals and recipes I’m using are from the Curves Complete diet plan, which while encouraging more protein (but healthy lean protein like chicken breasts and fish instead of fatty cuts of meat like my beloved bacon). It’s going good so far even though I’m not following it completely – I’m eating a lot more fruit than what the plan recommends. Fruit can be high in carbs, but they’re good carbs and they help me have enough energy to get through my workouts.

It’s making me think that there can be a lower carb diet that is healthy. The meals I’m having this week are filled with lean protein (including nuts – yum!), low fat dairy, whole grains, vegetables and fruits. There’s no soda, sugary desserts or junky snacks without any nutritional value. That may sound boring and hard but it’s not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be (okay, I have had a couple bites of chocolate but a girl’s gotta live right?).

Honestly, I don’t think I could eat like this every week, but I don’t have to. I can add in some dessert and even chips if I want to next week but small amounts or I won’t be able to meet my protein, fat, fiber, carb, and caloric intake targets.

Maybe I’ll even take the plunge towards super healthy eating and try the “Eco-Atkins” high protein, low carb diet. The the “Eco-Atkins” eating strategy (sounds much nicer than “diet” doesn’t it?) has been developed by David J.A. Jenkins (he’s the person who developed the glycemic index which you may or may not giving a “flying hoot” about).

It’s a high protein meal plan filled with protein rich plant-based foods instead of animal foods. It’s a completely animal free vegan meal plan. That blows my mind. I didn’t think it was possible to eat a high protein diet without eating any animal products (at least eggs and cheese).

According to information on the Web MD website, people who tried the “Eco-Atkins” eating plan got their protein “primarily from gluten, soy beverages; tofu; soy burgers; veggie products such as bacon, breakfast links, and deli slices; nuts; vegetables; and cereals. The diet emphasized viscous vegetables like okra and eggplant, along with other low-starch vegetables.”

Maybe low carb eating, but the healthy kind (words I never thought I’d put in the same sentence), will find a new resurgence of popularity and we’ll all to a healthy normal weight!

I know I sure do but even though I’m constantly saying it, I’m not always doing something about it. (I seem to be something of a “bag of hot air at times.”)

But, wishing and hoping don’t make it happen (but I sure wish it did).

Doing something about it does.

Birthdays, weddings, unexpected meals out, chocolate cake, bad days, disappointments, stress and boredom happen to all of us. Some people can deal with life’s ups and downs without turning to food (and when I say “some people” I don’t mean me).

I’m the one that tends to deal with anything bad or upsetting or stressful or super exciting by eating; and I’m not pigging out on raw carrots.

When everything in my life is going well it’s not hard for me to eat healthy and exercise. But the second I hit a bump in the road and the littlest thing goes wrong there I am with my hand in the chip bag or my head in the freezer looking for ice cream.

So am I committed to losing weight? That’s pretty much a big fat “NO!” If I was committed to losing weight I wouldn’t use every little thing as an excuse to get off track.

The last 2 weeks I’ve been thinking hard about how my head and my emotions have control over my eating and how my stomach doesn’t because whether or not I’m hungry is often a non-factor in my decision to eat.

I’m most likely to eat something when I’m bored or depressed and let me tell you that living in frigid Wisconsin in the dead of winter can be very depressing. Dragging myself out of my warm bed in the morning is sometimes almost more than I can handle – forget about getting dressed up warmly and going outside to get some fresh air and exercise! (See how good I am at excuses?)

If I was truly committed to losing weight and not just giving it lip service I wouldn’t let anything get me off track; or at least not let it get me off track for long. I’d stick with my commitment to lose weight no matter what (meaning that slip up of a whole bag of chips – even though they’re baked – wouldn’t mean a backslide that lasts several months. Instead I would dust myself off, get over it, and get right back on track).

And that’s what I’ve decided to do. Starting today, no matter what, I’m not going to let the ups and downs of life get me off track with my efforts to lose weight. I’m sticking with it.

I’m going to be like the “Little Engine that Could” and repeat over and over again “I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!

Let’s do it together! I know we can!

To help us keep our focus here’s a poem that a friend gave me a couple weeks ago. I don’t know where she got it from, but it must have been written by a Weight Watchers member because it mentions points. I think the words in it are powerful.

COMMIT DON’T QUIT
When you’ve eaten too much and you can’t write it donw
And you feel like the biggest failure in town;
When you want to give up just because you gave in
And forget all about being healthy and thin;
So What! You went over your point a bit;
It’s your mext move that counts….do don’t you quit!

Life-style change can be awkward and slow
But facing each challenge will help you to grow;
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint in the cloud of doubt.
When you’re pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit
If you bit you write…but don’t you quit!

That finally got me to make an appointment to see an acupuncturist myself even though my doctor has been trying to get me to go for a couple years now in an effort to relieve my headaches.

What had been stopping me? My official excuse what the cost, but the truth? Well even though I’m not technically afraid of needles because I had weekly allergy shots for several years as a kid and several more as an adult, it’s one thing to get a shot in each arm every week and quite another to have so many needles stuck in me at once that I could qualify as a human pin cushion! And on top of it, those needles stay in a while and don’t get pulled back out right away!

But the thought of alleviating my “hungry all the time” feeling was a bigger lure than multiple needles sticking out of me even though my sister-in-law warned me that several of those needles would be stuck in my ears and that they could very well “prickle” a little.

So I made an appointment and surprise of surprises, my husband said he would try it too to see if it could help him lose his pudge (and also hopefully help him with his snoring and his high blood pressure).

“Prickle” isn’t the word I would use for how those needles in my ears felt though, A couple of them hurt pretty bad when they went in. Luckily the pain subsided right away, although honestly it didn’t go away completely.

The acupuncturist also put needles in my hands, legs and my feet and those I barely felt at all. They were like a little “ting” and that was it.

Then it was 20 minutes of supposedly relaxing but I was more worried about making sure I lay completely still so I didn’t disturb those needles and prayed that I wouldn’t get an itchy nose because even though I knew there were needles in my hands I didn’t want to see them! And I certainly didn’t want to accidentally push one in further than it was supposed to go! So I did my best impression of a statute for those 20 minutes (and did quite well, thank you).

I’m not sure what it’s going to do for me yet although after even one session I feel different (the acupuncturist was up-front about needing to commit to several sessions before deciding whether or not it was helping). I feel less pressure in my head though, especially behind my eyes, so I have hope.

Although it’s not cheap, it’s also not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be (it’s costing me $60 for each weekly session). If it helps me get rid of my headaches and helps me lose weight, it will be money well spent. If not, then I guess I’ll chalk it up to a learning experience (I’ve certainly spent that much money on stupider stuff).

So now my question is whether or not you’ve tried acupuncture for weight loss or if you know anyone who has. I would love to hear what you’ve heard or what your experience has been. Please share in the comments section.

P.S. I’ll update every week to let you know how it’s going. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I heard those exact words more times than I can count.

When I complained that I was hungry as I was reluctantly putting the ice cream back in the freezer (why the heck did we have it in the house if it was so bad for us?), I was told to “have an apple,” “peel yourself an orange” or “eat some carrots,” because they were “good for me.”

The Mom at Weight Watchers that shared the “go foods” and “slow foods” concept says it has dramatically changed how her kids view food. Sure, they still have some of the not so healthy choices but the kids willingly choose to eat less of it in favor of foods that are health and help them “go.”

How great is that?

Yeah, that was real motivation to want to eat the apples, oranges and carrots. NOT!

Being told I couldn’t or shouldn’t have something made me want it even more because it was now a forbidden and therefore more attractive food. I started to crave bad food and ate it on the “sly” anytime I could. Is it any surprise that I became a “chubby” child?

As for the “good for me food,” what kid really puts those words in a positive context? Good for me started to equate with “tastes bad” because I was never given any reasons why the food was good for me other than my Mother saying it was (and there comes a certain age where kids question everything their mother says).

Then someone at my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday mentioned how her child’s teacher had a great way of teaching kids about healthy foods and actually getting them to want to choose them over less healthy choices.

Because I think the concept is so great I’m going to shamelessly steal it.

It’s “GO FOODS” and “SLOW FOODS,” meaning healthy foods help you go and unhealthy foods slow you down. What kid doesn’t want to be able to run and jump and play as fast as possible? Kids love to be on the go and in constant motion!

That’s a concept I could have gotten my head around as a kid; equating those fruits and vegetables with energy and being able to “go” versus eating too much “slow” foods such as those chips and ice cream that aren’t so healthy and caused me to have the horrible nickname of “two-ton Tessie”.

But am I really a bad person or just making bad decisions?

The sensible part of myself says I’m not a bad person because I haven’t broken any laws (didn’t run a red light, didn’t steal, and didn’t hurt anyone) and I wasn’t mean to anyone (didn’t yell at my husband or kids, didn’t let the door slam in someone’s face who was loaded down with packages, and didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings), yet I insist on beating myself up and telling myself how bad I am when I don’t make good food choices. I guess I am hurting someone – myself (I’ve obviously perfected the art of self-hate).

When I am being honest with myself I know I’m not a bad person.

There is no food in the world that makes me either a bad person or a good person.

Food is just food. Obviously the food choices I make affect my weight, my energy levels, and my overall health but it’s still just food – neither bad nor good because the day my food looks up at me from my plate and starts talking to me is the day someone better haul me off to the loony bin!

I need to remind myself that my food choices don’t make me a bad person, because when I feel like I’ve been a bad person I compound my food issues by eating even more bad for me food in an effort to pacify myself which only leads me to being harder on myself (yes, a crazy self destructive cycle but there’s no denying that’s one of the biggest reasons why I got to the point of being overweight).

Here’s my self reminder number one: “I’m not a bad person!” (now I’ll just have to repeat to myself about a thousand times today since the voice in my head is very talkative and doesn’t want to shut up so if you see someone walking down the street mumbling and talking to herself it’s probably me).