If you’ve been reading my posts, you’re aware that I’ve been struggling with weight loss for the several months. When I say “struggling” I mean I’ve been angry, upset and frustrated to the point of wanting to throw myself on the ground and wail like a 2-year old throwing a fit in the grocery store because his Mom won’t buy an overpriced plastic toy that will likely break 3 seconds after paying for it.
Since June I’ve been up and down between the same 7 pound range, fluctuating between having lost 50 pounds and 57 pounds. It feels like I’ve been standing in between 2 people that have been pushing me back and forth saying, “you’ve lost 57 pounds – good for you” and “not so fast – how about you put some of that weight back on because I’m going to show you just how hard it is to lose a lot of weight.”
It’s not that I’ve been on the “straight and narrow” with Weight Watchers the entire time and can say that I’m fighting a true plateau. Most of the time I know exactly what I did to put those 7 pounds back on (hello cake, brats, gravy and biscuits, chili cheese corn chips, and Coca-Cola).
But the last few weeks I’ve been back to eating healthy and exercising regularly and I’m still fluctuating up and down. Last week I was down 3.6 pounds. This week I gained 2.8 back. Grrrrrrrr!
I won’t give up. I can’t give up. There’s no way I want to go back to where I used to be when I felt like crap all the time and was having a serious flirtation with type II diabetes. Of course that’s not what I was thinking when I weighed in at Weight Watchers yesterday and found I had gained weight. At that point I felt like stomping my foot on the ground and saying “it’s not fair.” Right at that point my mother’s voice started talking inside my head saying “nobody said life was going to be fair.” (I hate that voice!).
Then, later on yesterday I got a call from a friend who told me she just found out she has type II diabetes. I used to be exactly like her, saying how I wanted to lose weight but either doing nothing about it or going on a crash diet for a short time; eating a diet that was 99 percent junk food, fast food, and highly processed food; and never exercising. That’s when I knew I can’t and won’t give up because I don’t want to end up facing serious health issues like she is.
So even though I didn’t have a great week on the scale I’m still fighting the fight. I didn’t drown my sorrows in a huge fatty cheeseburger and fries. Instead I worked out yesterday and today, and have been tracking what I’m eating and staying on program with Weight Watchers.
It’s like Dale Carnegie said, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
Losing weight is extremely important to me in my world and even though it seems kind of hopeless and like I’ll never get it off, I’m not giving up. I hope someday that #$*% scale will be my friend, just not today.
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