It took me 2 days (the weekend) to eat the $23.40 worth of junky food I bought in a “I don’t care and it’s too hard” fit I had Saturday morning after yet another week of the scale not budging downward.

I decided I had to have:

- a 6 pack of heavily frosted bakery cupcakes
- a 6 pack of full octane sugar loaded Pepsi
- a bag of the puffy Cheetos
- a bag of Parmesan and garlic potato chips
- a box of Caramel nips
- 2 bakery sub rolls (slathered them with full fat peanut butter)
- a bag of Cadbury mini candy coated chocolate eggs
- a bottle of corn syrup so I could make some homemade caramel popcorn
- (and almost bought a Woman’s World magazine because of an article about losing up to 40 pounds in a month….but nah….didn’t want to think about calories, dieting or about anything remotely similar)

I didn’t quite eat it all though (this is my pathetic attempt to make my binge seem like it wasn’t so bad even though we both know it was). There’s still a half bag of Cheetos left that I’m going to have my husband foist on his co-workers tomorrow along with the 2 sandwiches baggies of homemade caramel popcorn that I didn’t inhale. And, I put 3 of the cupcakes on the counter for my husband to devour (didn’t want the chocolate ones with the chocolate frosting cuz I only wanted the chocolate cake with white frosting ones- and don’t ask me why I decided to be picky that one thing because I don’t know).

What did that $23.40 I spent get me?

-A weekend that passed in a blur because I was in a food “zone out.”
-Two nights of tossing and turning because my stomach was upset (go figure).
-Orange stained fingertips from the “cheese” on the Cheetos
-A scale that finally budged! I gained 4 pounds.
-A newly found level of self-loathing

On the up side, when I stopped at the grocery store yesterday to pick up milk I also visited the produce aisle for vegetables and fruit which I actually ate instead of just putting them in the refrigerator and letting them go bad.

What did I learn (hopefully something, right)?

I learned that food doesn’t solve anything except hunger.

I already knew that in the tiny, sensible part of my brain. My problem is that I let the vastly larger emotional part take over way too often.

Now if I can just figure out to stay sane and sensible when my emotions are running rampant………