It took me 2 days (the weekend) to eat the $23.40 worth of junky food I bought in a “I don’t care and it’s too hard” fit I had Saturday morning after yet another week of the scale not budging downward.
I decided I had to have:
- a 6 pack of heavily frosted bakery cupcakes
- a 6 pack of full octane sugar loaded Pepsi
- a bag of the puffy Cheetos
- a bag of Parmesan and garlic potato chips
- a box of Caramel nips
- 2 bakery sub rolls (slathered them with full fat peanut butter)
- a bag of Cadbury mini candy coated chocolate eggs
- a bottle of corn syrup so I could make some homemade caramel popcorn
- (and almost bought a Woman’s World magazine because of an article about losing up to 40 pounds in a month….but nah….didn’t want to think about calories, dieting or about anything remotely similar)
I didn’t quite eat it all though (this is my pathetic attempt to make my binge seem like it wasn’t so bad even though we both know it was). There’s still a half bag of Cheetos left that I’m going to have my husband foist on his co-workers tomorrow along with the 2 sandwiches baggies of homemade caramel popcorn that I didn’t inhale. And, I put 3 of the cupcakes on the counter for my husband to devour (didn’t want the chocolate ones with the chocolate frosting cuz I only wanted the chocolate cake with white frosting ones- and don’t ask me why I decided to be picky that one thing because I don’t know).
What did that $23.40 I spent get me?
-A weekend that passed in a blur because I was in a food “zone out.”
-Two nights of tossing and turning because my stomach was upset (go figure).
-Orange stained fingertips from the “cheese” on the Cheetos
-A scale that finally budged! I gained 4 pounds.
-A newly found level of self-loathing
On the up side, when I stopped at the grocery store yesterday to pick up milk I also visited the produce aisle for vegetables and fruit which I actually ate instead of just putting them in the refrigerator and letting them go bad.
What did I learn (hopefully something, right)?
I learned that food doesn’t solve anything except hunger.
I already knew that in the tiny, sensible part of my brain. My problem is that I let the vastly larger emotional part take over way too often.
Now if I can just figure out to stay sane and sensible when my emotions are running rampant………
), did some laundry, watched some television (a cooking show – not a smart idea when I’m trying to not think about food until my stomach settles down!), and am now writing this blog post (yet another activity that is reminding me of food – will I ever learn?). Been also thinking about going for a walk but haven’t gotten up the ambition to do it yet. 
I Don’t Feel Like It
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